British European vs Tory Party

I’ve blurted it out, finally! No worries about getting thrown in the slammer for saying it.

Right now, I’m feeling prouder to be a British European than a little Englishman.

Forget about politics; it’s just a fact that I was born on the European continent.

I can’t fathom why some of the daftest folks around think that Britain isn’t part of the European continental shelf.

Sure, we’re a bit quirky, offbeat, and crazier than most island nations.

We’ve been making a mess of things for years. Every bit of nonsense we do in the name of nationalism tends to blow up in our faces.

Our government is rubbish, but that’s the issue with these first-past-the-post democracies – they’re not quite the democracy they claim to be.

First-past-the-post is like a trick played by Eton schoolboys. It’s what’s made the Tory party the most successful political bunch in history. They figured out how to work the system centuries ago, and look where they’ve ended up.

They’ve got a history of imperialism, landownership, and supporting slavery – raking in cash from all of it.

Now they don’t have an empire, so they’re turning on their own people. Taxing us to the bone, pushing inflation through the roof. Taking away our grub, fuel, and pensions. Polluting our water, air, and the land we rely on.

All their money’s stashed overseas, and once they’re done with us, we’re toast.

That’s why we’ve got to make sure we haul every last one of them who’s cheated the taxpayer through the wringer. Hit ’em with fines that’ll bankrupt ’em and get back all the dosh they’ve squirreled away. British justice needs to flex its muscles.

But as a European Brit, I’ll admit I’m clueless about my own people. They’ll keep me scratching my head for life.