What can I do with two quid?

How much would you pay to go to the moon?

Two quid, fly me up there First Group Buses, thanks.

But it won’t, will it. I’m stuck on planet earth and will never be able to afford to go to the moon. Why would I want to?

I’m scared enough on a high hill, not sure I want to be up so high.

Keep your trips to the moon, Mars and Uranus. Bet it whiffs of wee and wet poo anyway.